The School of Charm: Books 1-5 Page 8

  Before he knew what he was doing, he’d reached for her hands. She wore gloves this time, but the heat of her still warmed him. Her eyes widened as he squeezed her hands and tugged her closer. “I need you to trust me just a little while longer,” he said. He swallowed the urge to beg her not to run. “Please, do not do anything rash. No one will ever force you to give up your son, but it could not do any harm to at least explore your options, now could it?”

  Her brows drew down, but she kept her mouth pinched shut.

  “As your…” He struggled to find the right word. “As your friend, I owe it to you to give you every choice.”

  She stared at him for a second, and then her shoulders seemed to slump in defeat. “You owe me nothing,” she murmured on a sigh.

  He ignored that. He might not be indebted to her, but he still needed to help her. At some point this had gone beyond duty and above obligation, and while he could not explain it even to himself…he knew there was no way he could walk away from her.

  No way he could give her up.

  He shook off the thought. She was not his for the keeping, but she was his to protect. As was Reggie. The thought of the little boy made him shift uncomfortably beneath her stare. Who was to say this wasn’t what was best for Reggie as well?

  “Please,” he said, startling them both with the plea. “Please just join the other young ladies at my home, and I will introduce you to Lady Rothby. They have all been invited.” When she hesitated, he added, “It will be a masquerade.” He tried for levity in his tone. “I hear they are all the rage these days. Please come.”

  She shook her head so quickly he could feel her sudden panic. “No, I cannot. That is, I could never—”

  “No one will force you,” he said again, his tone as soothing as he could manage. “What could it hurt to hear her out?” He forced a small smile. “Besides, don’t all young ladies wish to attend a ball? Do not tell me you aren’t tempted…”

  He’d managed to tease a reluctant smile from her as she rolled her eyes heavenward. “Of all the matters on my mind these days, ball gowns and waltzes are not exactly a priority.”

  “No, but perhaps they ought to be.” He murmured that under his breath and then caught her eye. It was the truth, and they both knew it. He did not know her family or from where she hailed, but the more he knew her, the more obvious it became that she came from gentility. Standing here in a gown, her hair curled and pinned, her words soft and cultured…there was no mistaking her upbringing. There was only the question now of how no one had noticed it earlier. How had everyone not seen that his maid was a well-bred lady in disguise?

  “I cannot live without him,” she said. “He is the reason I left, the reason I gave it all up, I cannot—”

  “I know.” He moved closer and gripped her arms. “Come anyway.”

  She blinked up at him in confusion, and he could hardly doubt her. He barely understood what he was saying himself. All he knew was that he wanted her there. In his house. On his arm.

  He…he missed her.

  Ridiculous, really. They barely knew one another. And yet, after that evening sitting by the fire, he felt as though he knew her better than most. And when she looked at him—when her gaze met his so direct and unwavering—he got the feeling that she knew him better than anyone else in the world.

  “But—”

  “Everyone will be there,” he said. “You will be surrounded by friends, and I promise no one will force you to do anything you do not wish.”

  She bit her lip. “Why…that is…why is it important to you that I be there?”

  I don’t know. He leaned forward. “Haven’t you realized by now that I care about you?”

  She blinked rapidly, her lips parting for air. His brain grew hazy with desire as he watched her brilliant eyes darken with emotion, her lips so inviting he bit back a groan.

  “You…care?” she repeated. She sounded just as dazed as he felt.

  He swallowed thickly. He’d said too much, but he couldn’t bring himself to take it back. There was something here between them, and he knew that she felt it too. Something that called to him and made him forget about his duty to his title, about the bride he was supposed to be on the hunt for, about the life he was meant to live.

  None of that seemed to matter right here and now. Not when she was gazing up at him like this. “Do you trust me, Addie?”

  Her gaze softened to something infinitely tender when he used her nickname. She licked her lips, and he tried not to stare. “I already told you that I do.”

  She sounded just as awed by the fact as he felt.

  “Then come to the ball,” he said. “Trust that I would not lead you astray.”

  She hesitated only briefly before nodding. “All right.”

  Triumph slashed through him, quick and ridiculous. He felt for all the world like he’d won a battle to the death. Her trust in him was humbling, and he found that he was more proud that he’d earned her trust than he was of anything else in his life.

  “I will not let you down,” he said.

  Her lips quirked up in a sad little smile. “You do not know what you promise.”

  “Perhaps that’s because you will not tell me…” He trailed off, arching his brows in question. She gave a quick shake of her head.

  No. Despite her trusting him to have her best interests at heart, she did not trust him enough to tell him her secrets.

  But that would change. He swore to himself, that would change. “I cannot protect you if you do not tell me the truth.”

  She bit her lip as she studied him. “I wish I could tell you everything. I truly do.” To his horror, tears brimmed her eyes, making them glimmer.

  “Don’t cry, Addie. We will figure this out.”

  “No,” she said with a sniff. “I will figure this out. I appreciate all you have done, but I no longer fit into your world. I have no business being at your home and certainly not attending a ball where everyone knows you are to find a wife.”

  He gave a start at that. He supposed everyone did know it, but he’d never thought about the fact that Addie knew it.

  He hated that she knew it. He felt an uncomfortable sensation—something like guilt—as he met her gaze. It was a struggle not to shift beneath her stare. For the life of him, he did not know whether he felt as though he were betraying his future wife by standing here so close to Addie, or whether he was betraying Addie by searching for his future wife.

  Neither made any sense at all, and yet he could not deny that it was guilt he felt right now under her watchful stare.

  She took a step back and then another. “I appreciate your help, Lord Tolston. But from here on out, I will decide what is best for me and for Reggie.”

  She went to walk away, and he could not stop himself. He reached for her, snagging her around the waist and pulling her up against him. He caught sight of her eyes widening, but he was overcome with the need to show her how he felt, to see if she truly felt the same.

  He kissed her.

  Her lips were soft and warm beneath his, so perfect he thought he might lose all control. He held himself rigid, his grip on her loose enough that she could back away.

  She didn’t.

  They stood there frozen, his lips covering hers in a kiss that was light—almost chaste—as he waited for her to respond.

  When she did, it was as though everything in her caved to temptation. One moment she was holding herself rigid, and the next she was sinking into him with a little moan, her arms twining around his neck as he crushed her to him.

  He brushed his lips over hers as she sighed. He knew logically that she was no innocent—she’d had a child, after all. But nothing about her response felt studied or experienced as she opened to him.

  He should stop this. He knew he should stop. But nothing in the world could have made him. Her lips were intoxicating, the feel of her in his arms like something out of a dream, and the taste of her was better than any nectar.

  For one
brilliant, heart-achingly perfect moment, Alec felt like he was exactly where he ought to be. He was where he belonged.

  He was home.

  A snore cut through the moment, and Addie flew out of his arms, backing away until she hit the door with her back, the sound of the housekeeper’s snores dwindling once more into background noise.

  Breathing heavily, they stared at one another from across the room.

  “That…that should not have happened,” she breathed.

  No. It shouldn’t have. But he still hated her saying so. “My apologies, I—”

  “No, do not apologize,” she said. Her voice was still breathless and flustered as she turned away from him. “I must go.”

  “Addie, wait—”

  His shout roused the housekeeper who sat up straight with a snort. “What is going on?” she demanded.

  “Nothing,” he said, staring at the door where Addie fled. “There is nothing going on here.”

  He was telling himself more than her, because it needed to be said. He had to get it through his head.

  Nothing should have transpired between them and now…nothing ever would.

  Chapter Seven

  As it turned out, Reggie fit into the School of Charm better than Addie did.

  At least, that was how it felt some days when she was tired of keeping secrets. Today was one of those days.

  Louisa was playing with Reggie on the floor of the dining room long after the other girls had departed. Louisa seemed to love little ones—particularly Reggie. He seemed to take to her brand of open, flirtatious charm just as much as a grown man. He was drooling over Louisa as she beamed at him, cooing her praise when he snatched up the ball she’d rolled his way.

  Granted, he drooled quite a bit these days now that the last of his teeth were coming in. But even so, Addie wasn’t certain Reggie had ever looked at anyone but her with such adoration.

  “I do believe you have an admirer, Louisa,” she said.

  Louisa flashed her a smile over her shoulder. “If only all gentlemen were so easy to win over.”

  Addie laughed, as she knew she was supposed to for no one could believe that the brilliantly beautiful Louisa had an issue winning over a gentleman. Addie had heard the tales about Louisa. The other girls at this school might not have welcomed her with open arms, but they were more than happy to inform her of the household gossip. And that gossip?

  Well, it seemed to indicate that Louisa had no problem attracting the opposite sex.

  But as Louisa had been nothing but kind to her since her arrival, and had avoided discussing Addie’s gossip—the least she could do was give her the same respect.

  Louisa sat back on her heels as Addie took one last bite of her pastry with a sigh. She would miss the food when she left this place. She’d miss Louisa, too, and Miss Grayson with her calm air and her kind smiles.

  She’d miss the dance instructor, whose lessons made her feel like she was a young debutante once more, and the hours of reading aloud in the evenings, which was so cozy and calming and…well, homey.

  Even Reggie was welcomed to the evening affairs, and it was during those times most of all that she felt like she might actually have a home here. It wasn’t the same as her actual home, of course, but here she did not have the specter of Duncan hovering over her, or the bittersweet memories of her parents which made it impossible to forget her grief.

  “Are you certain you do not wish to come with us this evening?” Louisa asked.

  Addie came back to reality with a start. This evening—the evening she’d been trying not to think about for days. Just like she’d been trying not to think about tonight’s host or the way he’d kissed her…

  Needless to say, she’d been failing hopelessly on all accounts.

  “My blue gown would be stunning on you,” Louisa continued.

  Addie smiled. “Thank you, but I do not belong there. I’d only stir up more gossip and—” She cut herself short. How to explain that while she’d likely not be recognized by the elite of London, particularly with a mask, there was the chance that Duncan or one of his friends who’d visited would be, and that was a chance she could not take. “It could be a problem.”

  Louisa seemed to understand what she was not saying. “You might see people you know, you mean,” she said, cutting to the chase as she was wont to do.

  No one would call Louisa Purchase subtle, that much was certain. But, she hadn’t a devious bone in her body, either, and so Addie merely sighed. “That is what I mean, yes.”

  Louisa tilted her head to the side as Reggie clambered into her lap. “The mysterious Miss Adelaide,” she said in a soft sing-song voice. “It is no wonder Lord Tolston is so taken with you, now is it?”

  She blinked rapidly. “What? He isn’t taken. Why would you say that?” Her voice rose as she spoke, and her cheeks turned hot under Louisa’s amused stare. Guilt and embarrassment had her biting her lip before she could babble any more as images of that kiss scorched her brain and made her heart race into action.

  “Because I have eyes,” Louisa said matter-of-factly. “And ears.”

  The heat in her cheeks grew so painful, Addie clapped her palms over her face to cool them. Had she heard them the other day?

  Oh sweet mercy. Now all she could think about were his groans, her own whimpers—from there it was a slippery slope. She was bombarded by the memory of his touch, his scent, the warmth of his arms around her, and the solidness of his body against hers.

  “My, my,” Louisa murmured. “I merely meant that he seems to fuss over you when he comes to visit.” She tilted her head to the side. “Is there something more that I’m missing?”

  “N-no, no. Of course not.”

  Louisa’s smirk was filled with disbelief, but she did not argue the point. Wrapping her arms around Reggie as though it were second nature to cuddle a small child, she rested her head against the top of his head. “I suppose it’s only natural that he take an interest in you since you are his ward.”

  “I am not his ward.” She stiffened in discomfort at the mere thought.

  “What would you call him then?” Louisa asked mildly.

  Addie opened her mouth and then clamped it shut again. It hardly mattered what she thought of him or how she would classify their rather bizarre relationship. And yet, Louisa was waiting, and his words came back to her, making her warm all the way through. “Friends,” she said quietly. “We are merely friends.”

  “Mmhmm.” Louisa sniffed. “Well, I wish I had more friends like the Earl of Tolston, I will say that much.”

  Addie let out a little huff of laughter at Louisa’s teasing.

  “But if he is such a dear friend,” Louisa said. “Then why will you not join us this evening? It really ought to be the most entertaining event.” Her eyes grew wide with excitement and her voice breathless with eagerness.

  Addie knew that Louisa was rarely allowed to attend society events. She couldn’t blame her for being excited—were she in any other circumstances, she’d be eagerly preparing right this minute. But then again, under any other circumstances…she would never have been invited.

  Addie studied her friend. “Does your family know you’ll be in attendance?”

  Louisa shifted, her gaze sliding away guiltily. “Of course.”

  “Louisa,” she said slowly.

  Louisa huffed. “It is a masquerade. Who will even notice?”

  Addie bit her lip, her allegiance torn between her new friend and the lady who’d been so kind to her. “Does Miss Grayson know?”

  Louisa rolled her eyes. “She said that as Lord Tolston invited all of us, I was technically included in the invite. She left the decision up to me.”

  Addie nodded. “And you don’t believe it will cause trouble for her or this school if you should attend?”

  Louisa frowned. “Of course not! Addie, I know what you must have heard, but I promise you I do not mean to cause trouble—”

  “Of course not, dear.” Addie patted
her arm soothingly.

  Louisa sank back in her seat, slightly mollified. “Trouble just seems to find me, that is all.”

  “Of course,” Addie repeated, this time with a stifled smile.

  “But it would help if you were there, too,” Louisa said.

  “So I can cause trouble?” she teased.

  Louisa laughed. “No, silly, so you can make sure I stay away from temptation.”

  “And what about this evening will tempt you?”

  Louisa sighed, but this one was a happy sigh. “Flirting and laughing and dancing…” She gave an exaggerated shudder. “Just think of all the fun to be had.”

  Addie smiled, and for a second she allowed herself to imagine what life would have been like if everything had been different. If she hadn’t gone into mourning before she could have her debut. If her parents were still here to guide her way into society. If Duncan hadn’t been named their guardian. If she hadn’t felt compelled to flee…

  She let out a loud exhale. “I’m certain it will be most entertaining.”

  “Then come.” Louisa leaned forward and squeezed her arm. “Please. For me.”

  She was about to say no again, but they were interrupted by the butler who carried a message on a tray. “For you, miss,” he said, handing it to Addie.

  She opened it eagerly. It would be from Emmaline. They’d been exchanging notes for days as Addie tried to come up with a plan for where she would go from here. She’d be the first to admit…she didn’t wish to run. Not again. She’d found a place for herself here, and even Reggie seemed to be content.

  But for how long?

  She knew Tolston hadn’t been trying to hurt her the other day. He’d likely been trying to help. And Miss Grayson, too. But their nudging to have her meet with the Lady Rothby was just another reminder that this situation was not permanent. It might feel like her home now, but it was only temporary.

  Emmaline was trying to convince her to talk to her parents, but Addie wasn’t sure she could take that chance. She’d never known the Havershams all that well, and had only been friends with Emmaline because of their closeness in age the one time the Havershams had visited their home. All she knew for certain about Emmaline’s parents was that they were friendly with Duncan, that much she knew, and it was her word versus his.