Sleepover with the Enemy (How to Catch a Crush Book 5) Page 9

One week after the night of chaos and insanity, Avery was glaring at me over a mountain of laundry I was helping her fold. I figured if her mom was nice enough to let me hang out here while West and Charlotte were making out on my couch—oh sorry, I meant ‘watching a movie’ on my couch—folding laundry was the least I could do.

  “Why won’t you just admit that you like him?” she demanded.

  I just barely bit back a sigh. “I should never have told you about that kiss.”

  “Too late,” she said, her sudden grin mischievous and terrifying. “You told me everything, so there’s no point in denying that you have a crush on Alex Luven.”

  “I do not.” But my flaming cheeks were a dead giveaway.

  Did I have a crush? I wasn’t sure. Did having a crush mean thinking about someone way too often? Then maybe. Did having a crush mean reliving the briefest kiss known to man like it was some miraculous event? Then probably.

  I dropped a newly folded pillowcase onto a stack of bedding with a sigh. Who was I kidding? This was an infatuation, of that there was no doubt. It was overwhelming, all-consuming, and freakin’ annoying. I shot Avery a miserable glare. “How did you deal with this for three years?”

  Her laughter grated on my nerves. But then again, everything had been getting on my nerves this week. One torturous night with Alex and suddenly I was rethinking everything in my life. His words had been nagging at me during the day, and the memory of that kiss refused to fade when I’d close my eyes to sleep.

  I didn’t even realize that I was staring at my phone, which I’d set on the bed beside the laundry until Avery pointed to it. “You doing okay with all that?”

  I nodded, relieved that she’d let the topic of Alex drop, at least for a little while. There was no doubt in my mind that my stubborn bestie wouldn’t let it go for long.

  ‘All that’ meant my upcoming phone call with my dad. He’d be calling any minute now to work out the logistics of my trip tomorrow.

  See, Alex’s words hadn’t just gotten to me, they’d pushed me. They’d shoved me. Alex’s words were like verbal bullies in the back of my brain. They hadn’t let up until I’d picked up the phone and called my dad back.

  Since then, we’d talked almost every day, and this morning I’d finally done the unthinkable. I’d told my dad I would go to visit him and his new family this week. I’d meet the girls who would now be in my life. More stepsiblings. Woo hoo. I’d make nice with his new fiancée, and as for my dad…

  Well, I guess I’d see how things went. I’d feel it out and see if Alex was right. See if maybe my dad really did mean it, if he truly did want to be a part of my life.

  I wasn’t sure this was a ‘better late than never’ kind of situation, but I did know that Alex had been right about my fatal flaw. Forgiveness had never been my strong suit, but I was also so tired of holding onto anger.

  It was hardly an equal comparison, but letting go of my anger at Alex for three years of ignoring Avery…

  It had felt good. Something inside of me was lighter for it, and realizing that his actions hadn’t been about hurting Avery but about his own insecurities...well, it was hard not to feel a little ridiculous at all that wasted energy.

  “You nervous?” Avery asked quietly.

  I glanced up. “Yeah.”

  “Then why don’t you come out with us tonight,” Avery said. “Get your mind off things. Simone will be there with Andrew, and I think Hazel and Will will be there—”

  “Nah.” I shook my head. “Thanks, but I don’t think I want to be around people tonight.” Especially as ‘people’ would undoubtedly include Alex.

  “Then I’ll stay here with you,” she said resolutely.

  “Absolutely not.” Avery could be stubborn, but she had nothing on me. “You have one week left with Cristian before he goes back to college. You should be enjoying every moment.”

  “Then he can stay here too. We’ll all watch movies and hang out and—”

  “No.” I swallowed, trying to rein in the panic that had slipped out in that one word. ‘All’ definitely included Alex. He was Avery and Cristian’s constant companion.

  Avery tilted her head to the side with a sigh. “You can’t avoid Alex forever, you know.”

  Just watch me.

  I knew better than to say it. And she had a point. But also...just watch me.

  “You’re being rude,” Avery said.

  Being rude was about the worst crime one could commit in Avery’s world, but it didn’t exactly make me feel bad. I shrugged. “You’re rude.”

  She pursed her lips and gave me a knowing look.

  “I’m kidding,” I said.

  “I’m not.”

  “Obviously,” I muttered under my breath. In my defense, it wasn’t like I’d snubbed him to his face or anything. I just hadn’t replied to a few texts. And in further defense, I wasn’t even sure he’d expected me to. These texts held no questions, just little quips about how we’d survived a night of terror. He’d sent one that was a flirty comment about how we should play seven minutes in heaven again some time, but it was obviously a joke.

  “Why are you avoiding him?” Avery asked.

  “I’m not avoiding, I’m just…”

  She gave me that sassy know-it-all look again, and my protests faded.

  “I don’t know what he wants from me.”

  Sympathy had her gaze softening. “All the more reason you should talk to him.”

  I scoffed. “You expect a civil conversation between me and Alex Luven?’

  “Uh uh,” she said as she tossed a pair of undies into a drawer. “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend that something didn’t change between you two. I mean…” Her eyes grew impossibly wide as she hissed, “He kissed you.”

  “To get us out of tween jail,” I shot back. “And he apologized, so…”

  Or at least, he’d been about to apologize before I’d cut him off. I just hadn’t wanted to hear him say how much he regretted kissing me.

  But he’d come out into the hallway clearly intent on apologizing. So, just in case I’d had any hopes brewing, they’d been dashed.

  Not that I’d had hopes. I mean, it wasn’t like I’d spent the two hours after that kiss replaying every second and wondering what it had meant.

  I threw another pillowcase on the pile. Nope. I definitely hadn’t. Because that would have been pathetic.

  So freakin’ pathetic.

  Avery huffed. “Max, you slept on his lap.”

  “So?” I couldn’t look up from the laundry. “I was tired.”

  Avery’s mom poked her head into Avery’s bedroom. “Girls, I’m heading out. Don’t wait up. Max, help yourself to anything in the fridge.”

  “Thanks. Have fun tonight,” I called after her as she slipped back out.

  “You’re honestly going to tell me that cuddling up with the hottest and most charming guy at school didn’t mean anything to you?” Avery demanded. “You said yourself that you two bonded—”

  “I did not use that word,” I interrupted with a jab of my finger in her direction.

  “Fine. But you are friends now, right?”

  I winced a bit. “No, we’re not-not friends.”

  Avery’s blank stare seemed to emphasize the lameness of my response. “Fine,” she finally said. “But that’s major progress for two people who couldn’t stand each other only a week ago.”

  I gave a halfhearted shrug. “What do you want me to say?”

  She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Why can’t you just admit that you might like a guy for once? I know having a crush is new for you, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  Maybe not. But that didn’t mean I had to embrace it either. “There’s no way he would ever like me like that,” I muttered. She stared at me for so long that I started to feel uncomfortable. “Stop staring.”

  “Sorry, it’s just…” She moved around the bed and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. “You always seem so sure of yourself. I didn’t th
ink…” She trailed off.

  I forced a rueful laugh. “Yeah, well, I’m not feeling so sure of anything these days.”

  She rubbed my back. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for taking this step with your dad and his new family.”

  I nodded. I didn’t totally trust myself to speak because my throat felt way too tight.

  “It’s really brave,” she whispered.

  That tightness made me ache all over. Brave. Was that what this was? I didn’t feel brave, and any time talk turned to Alex, I felt like I was a kid hiding in a corner with a flashlight.

  I shut my eyes and let her hug soothe away this ache.

  Maybe I was being brave about my dad, but I was being a coward about Alex. And I hated that. But also, I couldn’t handle stepping out on another ledge, not when my stomach was already twisted up in knots over this step I was about to take with my dad and his family.

  Even if the only reason I was taking this step was because of Alex.

  “Uh, are we interrupting?” Cristian’s voice came from the doorway, and Avery pulled back with a squeal of excitement at the sight of her admittedly handsome boyfriend hovering in the doorway. She ran to him and jumped into his arms as if it had been months since she’d seen him and not twelve hours.

  He gave me an apologetic grimace over her head as he held her tight. “Sorry if we’re intruding. Your mom let us in,” he said to Avery.

  She said something in response, but I was too hung up on that one word that had littered his sentence. We. We’re.

  Plural.

  “Hey, Maxine.” Alex drawled my name in that way that I hated, and my heart pounded in response. But unlike every other time, this wasn’t a surge of rage or anger-fueled adrenaline. This was something worse.

  So much worse.

  I looked down at the laundry. “Hey.”

  The silence that followed was just a beat too long—long enough to feel awkward. Long enough for me to know that a look had been exchanged, no doubt between Avery and Cristian. They were one of those annoyingly in-tune couples who seemed to be able to communicate without speaking.

  “You coming along to the party tonight?” Alex’s voice was way too close to me, and I could see a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye as he came to my side of the bed.

  Bed. We were standing next to a bed. There was underwear on this bed.

  Not mine, but the thought still seemed worth noting in my panic-stricken brain.

  My pulse increased a million times over, and it was hard to hear what he was saying over the rush of blood in my ears.

  “...it should be fun. I mean, I know you’re not big on parties, but—”

  “Yeah, I don’t really do parties,” I interrupted. Just one of many reasons why I shouldn’t even let myself think about Alex like that.

  Like we could actually be something. Like that kiss had actually meant something.

  Stupid. I shoved a towel to the side to reach for more bedding. I was so stupid.

  “Well, if you don’t want to go to a party, we could do something else.”

  I tensed as he shifted closer and took the towel out of my hand, folding it neatly as he spoke. “We could stay here if you want and hang out.”

  I shook my head quickly, nerves and outright terror making me want to backpedal away from him. What was happening here? This was not my life. I was not the girl who got the hottie. I wasn’t even the girl who got the guy.

  I definitely wasn’t the girl who crushed on a guy who was so far out of her league he might as well have lived on another planet. He was the guy who dated the homecoming queen or the head cheerleader. He was the beloved popular jock who went to all the cool parties.

  He didn’t stay home to watch movies and work on feature newspaper articles about a tween fundraiser.

  “You’d be bored,” I said, flashing him what I hoped was a smile. “You should go to the party. Have fun.”

  He shifted so he was facing me, his expression inscrutable but weirdly unsmiling. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him so serious. “I thought we’d agreed to be friends.”

  I turned my head away with a wince. Friends. That was what this was about for him. I’d assumed as much. With him and Avery getting so close, it made sense that he’d want us to be pals too.

  It was just that...I didn’t want to be his friend.

  I didn’t want to be his enemy, but friends somehow sounded even worse. The thought of it made my belly drop with disappointment. “Technically, we agreed to not not be friends,” I reminded him. “There’s a difference.”

  “Is there?” he asked mildly.

  I didn’t like that mild tone. I didn’t like that we weren’t fighting. I didn’t like that I couldn’t quite bring myself to look at him for fear of what I’d see. Or what I wouldn’t see.

  Something Avery said came back to me. She’d alluded to that cliché about a thin line between love and hate. Everyone knew that love’s opposite was apathy. And being friendly with Alex, hanging out together because we were supposed to, making nice for Cristian and Avery’s sake. That somehow felt apathetic.

  At least when we fought, I knew we were both feeling something. Something strong. My breath hitched as a thought hit me hard.

  Did that mean I’d had feelings for Alex all along? Was my irrational anger around him due in part to this thing between us?

  I gave my head a little shake. I blamed my current emotional train wreck status on my upcoming trip to see my dad. I’d been all out of sorts ever since I’d made these plans to see him.

  Of course I hadn’t had feelings for Alex. Except for hatred, obviously.

  “Okay then…” He started to shift away from me, his tone dripping with sarcasm as he headed toward the door. “Good talk. I guess.”

  I nodded. Go. Just go. I had more emotional chaos than I could handle in my life right now. The last thing I needed was to fall for my worst enemy.

  A little voice in the back of my head mocked me. Too late.

  Ten

  Alex

  Avery went off to say hi to some friends on the far side of the room where most of the senior class had gathered, which meant that I was left in the corner babysitting Eeyore—I mean, Cristian. Although, truth be told, this week I’d been the one brooding and angsty, and I hated it. “Seriously, how did you live like this for so long?” I asked.

  He started to laugh. “Like what?”

  “Like this.” I widened my eyes as I pointed to myself.

  “Self-aware?” he asked mockingly.

  “Yes! And with feelings.” Yeah, fine. I could hear how ridiculous I sounded, but that didn’t mean he had to laugh at me.

  He was still chuckling as he took another sip from his red plastic cup. “Just give her some time. Avery seems to think she’ll come around, and no one knows Max better than Avery.”

  “Mmm.” I made a noncommittal noise. I knew he was right that Avery knew Max, but nothing about that interaction felt right.

  She wasn’t coming around, she was getting further away from me with each passing hour. I could feel it. And seeing her tonight, I could see it. I’d heard it in her tone and read it clearly in her eyes.

  The walls were up, and she was retreating.

  I let out a huff of exasperation. Patience had never been my strong suit, and this week was killing me.

  “Did you see that back there?” I pointed to the left as if Avery’s house was right there. “She barely looked at me. I’ve been texting and calling all week, and she’s just shutting me out.”

  Cristian put a calming hand on my shoulder. “Dude, the girl basically hated your guts for years until last week. Maybe she just needs time.”

  Time. I didn’t want to give her time. What I felt for Max was strong and like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I refused to believe that she didn’t feel it too. I took a deep breath, stretching out my neck as I tried to get a grip.

  I’d been working on not being so selfish. On thinking about what was
best for others rather than just what worked best for me. So maybe...maybe giving her space was what was best for her.

  Right?

  Wrong. My gut said wrong.

  I reached for Cristian’s cup and took a sip of stale beer. Ugh. I didn’t typically drink, especially not during basketball season, and that one sip reminded me why.

  “Did that help?” Cristian’s voice mocked me.

  “No.”

  “Didn’t think it would,” he said.

  I sighed wearily, torn between smacking my smug brother for being such a know-it-all or turning to him for advice. I cringed at the thought, but then again—he got the girl. And on top of that, he’d been doing this whole ‘thoughtful nice guy’ thing for way longer than I had. “Okay, fine,” I said as though he’d been badgering to give me advice. “What’s the answer here?”

  He gave me a blank stare. “What’s the question?”

  “How do I know if I should pursue this?” I asked, irritation clear in my voice. “How do I know if…” Ah crap, there was no cool way to ask this. “How do I know if she’s the one?”

  Amusement danced in his eyes, but he was wise enough not to outright laugh. “Well, you’re clearly attracted to her—”

  “Of course I am.”

  “And you believe she’s attracted to you too, I assume.”

  I rolled my eyes. Sure, our one kiss had been way too short and not at all the romantic setting she deserved, but there was no denying our chemistry. It had been off the charts.

  He sighed. “You’re going to make fun of me…”

  I felt a grin tugging at my lips despite my frustration. “Of course I am. But I’m coming to you for advice, big bro. Just spit it out.”

  “I think if it’s more than just attraction, if it has the potential to be something real, then you’ll bring out the best in each other. You know?”

  I wanted to mock him. I really did. I mean, what a cheesy line. But also… “Yeah, I know.” Because I’d realized these past few days that was what I liked so much about Max. “She calls me out on my crap,” I said abruptly.

  Cristian’s brows rose.

  I swallowed down my embarrassment. “She makes me want to be better. She expects more from me than anyone else, even you.”