Miss Abigail's Beastly Beau Read online

The memory of the kiss reared up in his mind and filled his gut with an unbearable guilt. “Abigail, I, uh...” He cleared his throat, and it took all his will to meet her questioning gaze. “I’m sorry for taking liberties—”

  “Don’t.” Her cheeks were vividly pink now, but it was her sudden frown that had him pausing with his mouth still open. “Don’t. Just...please don’t.”

  He blinked, unsettled and ill at ease as he turned his attention to the fire. She was embarrassed, no doubt. Likely wishing it had never occurred.

  His mind chose that moment to call up her eager response, the way her lips had clung and the way her whole body had responded.

  He leaned back away from the fire. He had no need of that heat on top of the fire that was burning in his veins.

  She regretted it. That was what mattered now. He’d no doubt taken advantage of her fear and her relief, and all the other emotions she must have felt after facing down the villain who’d threatened her life.

  “You said he gave you that message to relay to me.” He glanced over to see that she was staring into the fire. The children’s voices that typically annoyed him had faded into the background as they worked on lessons on the other side of the room.

  For a moment he thought she hadn’t heard him but then she dipped her chin. “That’s right.”

  “Why me?” he asked. “He must know that I’d kill him on sight rather than listen to his excuses.”

  She turned to him with a wan smile. “I suppose he’d rather risk your wrath than be imprisoned for treason.”

  Caleb grunted in acknowledgement. He supposed he could understand that.

  “And besides...” Her brow furrowed with a frown. “It sounds as though he was more frightened of the pirates and smugglers than anything else.”

  Caleb huffed again. That he could definitely understand. If this new crew of pirates Marcus had been chasing was growing so powerful so quickly, then surely they were ruthless.

  “So, he’ll tell us everything he knows in return for safe passage on a ship out of port,” Caleb muttered.

  Abigail turned to him. “That was what he said.”

  He met her gaze evenly. A long silence passed between them and he wished he had any idea what she was thinking. Whatever it was, she looked more serious than he’d ever seen her. And he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

  “What’s to stop me from throttling this bloke the moment he’s done confessing?”

  Her lips twitched up slightly at the corners and the sight of that near-smile was enough to loosen the tightness in his chest, if only slightly. “My word.”

  His brows arched high. “You gave your word that I would not hurt him?”

  She lifted her shoulders. “He needed assurance.”

  He muttered a curse under his breath that would have made most ladies blush.

  But then again, most ladies hadn’t been raised in the shadows of a military encampment, he supposed.

  “You expect me to meet with the man who threatened your life and not kill him?” he asked. Honestly, he was starting to wonder if she knew him at all.

  Perhaps she hadn’t understood what sort of man she was dealing with. That would certainly explain why she’d allowed him to kiss her.

  And why she’d kissed him back.

  He shoved the thought to the side. There’d be time to dwell on the feel of her lips later. Right now, there was business at hand. “I’ll listen to what he has to say, but I cannot let the man who harmed you get away without punishment.”

  “But he didn’t harm me. Thanks to you.” Her lips curved upward again and he found himself willing a smile from her. This was a woman who should always be smiling. She shouldn’t have a care in the world, least of all a threat hanging over her head.

  The thought had his muscles tensing and she reached a hand out to touch his forearm. That gentle touch did nothing to alleviate the tension coursing through him. If anything, it made his insides coil as some primal part of his brain prepared to claim what was his. His gaze had lingered on her lips without him even realizing.

  “You want him gone, don’t you?”

  He forced his gaze up to meet the twinkling laughter in her eyes. “Hmmph.”

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” She shifted so she was facing him. “This is the most expedient way to get your answers and be rid of him. And that’s what you have been waiting for, hasn’t it?” Her gaze turned searching. “That is why you’ve stayed, is it not?”

  He gave another eloquent grunt. And this time even he wasn’t quite certain what he meant by it. Was it the reason he’d originally stayed? Yes. The threat of pirates and Marcus and Minerva’s concern for her family. That and his stab wound had been sufficient reason to stay. But the wound had healed, and Roger could very well be out of the picture soon enough, and he...

  He had yet to truly consider where he would go next. What he would do.

  He looked over at Abigail, who was watching him so sweetly. So naively. With such innocence.

  Too good for the likes of him. Of that there was no doubt.

  But he couldn’t lie to himself. The reason he’d lingered, the reason he’d grown content here, the reason he’d gone so far as to rent a cottage here...

  It was all because of her.

  And he suspected she knew it.

  His mind called forth that kiss with torturous accuracy. Of course she knew. If she hadn’t before, she surely knew now that what he felt for her was far from apathetic.

  He looked away from her stare. He’d rather not think on what it actually was, for it was lunacy no matter how one phrased it. He was a pirate. Former pirate. Privateer. Whatever he called it, it always came back to the same thing.

  He was unworthy.

  Marcus was at least well born, even if he refused to acknowledge it. He’d been educated and taught his manners, and despite all the brutality he’d seen and the line he’d so narrowly walked with the law, he was a gentleman at heart.

  The same could not be said for Caleb.

  “When Roger is no longer a threat, what will you do?” she asked.

  “Leave, of course.” His tone was more brusque than intended and he could not meet her gaze.

  “Of course,” she murmured.

  He looked toward the children, who looked utterly content on the floor talking amongst themselves, their heads bent over the books Abigail had given them to study.

  “I shall miss you.” The words said so quietly landed with all the force of a cannonball. He felt them rattle his bones.

  He turned back to her with a glower. “You’ll be in London, remember?”

  She pressed her lips together, and the look in her eyes was so forlorn it hurt to see. This woman should never look so sad.

  Certainly not over a brute like him.

  She toyed with the fabric of her skirts. “When I return—”

  “When you return you will no doubt be married.” The words tasted vile. The guilt that ate at his gut was nothing compared to the jealousy that threatened to burn him from the inside out. “Or engaged, at the very least.” He muttered that last bit under his breath, a reminder to himself more than anything.

  “You are right, I suppose.” Her voice held a stiltedness to it that did not suit her. It was a far cry from her genuine lighthearted way of speaking and it did not sit well with him.

  He glanced over when she stood. “Children, it’s time for us to leave Mr. Calhoun in peace.”

  The urge to stop her, to tell her she shouldn’t go...he only just barely stifled it.

  A sense of helplessness the likes of which he’d never felt before had him coming to his feet and following along behind her as she walked over to help her little army gather their things.

  “I will walk you home,” he said when she turned back with a questioning look.

  Her smile was too sad by far. “You needn’t bother. I can see Hattie and Anna heading this way even now.”

  He looked out and saw that she was right.

  “Still, I would see you home safe—”

  “Please, Caleb.” Her smile was strained, her eyes suspiciously bright. “The only threat to me would be Roger, and he has made his intentions known. He won’t bother us any longer so long as you meet with him as he requested.”

  He shoved down this feeling of panic. Like he was going to lose her the moment she stepped through those doors.

  Of course he was going to lose her. But that didn’t mean she was in any danger.

  Just the opposite.

  She’d leave for London and be well on her way to a better life.

  “You will do it, won’t you?” she asked.

  He exhaled sharply. The idea of providing a means of escape for that weasel Roger was difficult to swallow. But he’d do it. He gave a short nod.

  For her he would do anything.

  He suspected she knew that too.

  Chapter 9

  It was with great effort that Abigail feigned a calm the next morning. Over a very quiet morning meal, she exchanged the barest of pleasantries with her father, all the while resisting the urge to tap her foot or shift in her seat.

  Waiting was unbearable.

  She wasn’t like Minerva. She did not thrive on danger. In fact, she rather abhorred it. But that did not mean she did not have courage. It certainly did not mean she could not face Roger again.

  She’d done well enough the day before. But then, Roger had been a different man yesterday from the crazed fiend she’d encountered in the cave. The Roger she’d seen yesterday had been ill-kempt and...well, still crazed, but this time it was desperation that had him wild-eyed.

  He’d truly been a pitiable sight, hiding behind the dilapidated shed walls, hissing for her to join him so he could speak his piece.

 
She sighed, glancing up from the philosophical work her father had chosen for her to study to see Hattie reading a novel as she crocheted. Hattie excelled at finding ways to read while doing just about anything.

  The clock above the mantel ticked by too slowly.

  She couldn’t be late. She hadn’t exactly confided in Caleb that she planned to attend this little tête-a-tête. Something told her he would have rebelled.

  Rightfully so, perhaps. It wasn’t as though she was so very keen on seeing Roger again. But she couldn’t very well leave this alone, either. She was involved, whether she liked it or not.

  It was something Roger had said. Something she hadn’t told Caleb. She would have if she hadn’t been so...distracted. Distraught? She toyed with the edges of her book as the memory of his kiss filled her mind for the millionth time that day. She forced the memory aside but now she was too warm as well as ready to burst with impatience. Drat. The silence was so stifling she thought she might scream.

  “Is there someone in particular you’re so impatient to see?”

  Abigail glanced over to see Hattie peering at her from across the room.

  “Hmm?”

  Yes. Play the fool. When in doubt, act like an imbecile. She could practically hear Minerva’s droll voice in her head and swallowed a nervous laugh.

  Hattie dropped her work. “Are you nervous to see Mr. Calhoun?”

  “Caleb? No, of course not.”

  Hattie continued to watch her evenly. It was a trick she’d learned from Min. Their eldest sister could always get them to talk if she stayed silent long enough.

  Abigail sighed. “That will not work on me, you know. I was the one who taught that trick to Min.”

  Hattie’s smile was sudden and unapologetic. “Come now, Abigail. You can be frank with me. After all, I saw how rattled you were yesterday when you left him.”

  “Yes, well, that was merely because...” She wet her lips. I saw Roger.

  No. She couldn’t say that. It was bad enough that she was keeping this secret from their father. It wouldn’t do to make Hattie keep it as well. It wouldn’t be fair.

  And besides, if she were being totally truthful, that wasn’t the reason she’d been so rattled.

  Seeing Roger had been a shock, but that was nothing compared to Caleb’s kiss.

  Her breath caught. Even now, a day later, she could feel his lips on hers. She could well imagine the heat that had seared her all the way through.

  But more than that...there was something so much more in his kiss. For a man so strong and gruff, he was infinitely tender. And the way he held her, the way he touched her...

  She’d felt cherished. Needed. And beyond that, there had been some sort of silent communication. Some understanding that she couldn’t put into words but which was undeniable. It was the same connection, she supposed, that had her trusting him from the first day they’d met. It was the same understanding that made her feel safe and at peace when he was near.

  “Abigail,” Hattie prompted.

  Abigail shot up out of her seat. She couldn’t speak the truth, and she couldn’t sit here waiting. Wondering. “I must be going, Hattie. There is a matter I must attend to...” She kept talking. Prattling, really. Steadfastly ignoring her younger sister’s curious, amused gaze.

  She was out of the house and heading toward Caleb’s before her sister could ask another question. She truly hadn’t wished to lie if Hattie were to ask the most obvious question—where are you going?

  Once upon a time there had been strict rules governing their time, but with Minerva’s departure and then Sally and Rebecca’s visit to the earl’s estate, those rules had faded swiftly.

  Abigail hadn’t been sorry to see them go. And now, racing down the hill that led to Caleb’s cottage, she embraced this rush of freedom. The fresh air, the open space, the smell of the sea...

  She would miss it dreadfully when she left.

  If she left.

  She slowed halfway down the hill, more winded than she ought to be. If she left. She stopped entirely to grasp the enormity of what she was thinking. What she was planning.

  Well, planning made it seem as though her mind was hard at work. In reality, it was something far less logical that was steering her ideas.

  It was her heart.

  And while her body was impatient and her mind was racing with fears and worries, her heart had never been more certain.

  She smiled in relief as confusion gave way to understanding.

  Her gaze settled on the cottage below and her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of her large, capable pirate fixing the eaves overhanging the door, no doubt preparing for the snow to come. She walked slowly, enjoying these few moments before he spotted her.

  She would talk to him. Today. After this business with Roger was over. She would speak to him and tell him how she felt. Ascertain that he felt the same, and then...

  A joy like she’d never known spread through her at the vivid images that filled her mind.

  And then he would kiss her. And then he would marry her. And then they would find a home of their own. And then they would create a family of their own.

  The blissful daydream images flooded her mind fast and fierce, and when all was said and done, she had no doubts. This was what she wanted. He was what she wanted.

  By the time she drew close and he spotted her, she had no fears.

  He was who she was meant to be with. She understood that now. She knew it as surely as she knew her own name. Oh, her brain could come up with reasons aplenty why there might be objections. From her father, no doubt. Aunt Lucinda, to be certain. But for herself? It was all so clear.

  His kiss had answered every question she’d had about her confusing feelings for him. Now it didn’t seem confusing at all. This man was her home. It was that simple. And even if he meant to leave, she would happily go with him.

  His gaze was wary. “You look awfully pleased this morning, Miss Abigail.”

  She sighed with exasperation. They were back to Miss Abigail, it seemed. “I am pleased, Caleb.”

  He nodded, turning to her with a tool in hand and a scowl on his face. For some reason, that made her own smile grow.

  He was uncomfortable. Wary. And she knew it was because of her.

  Because of that kiss.

  For a second, some of that joyful certainty wavered at the memory of the way he’d meant to apologize. Of course he would apologize. For all his uncouth manners, he was a gentleman at his core.

  Not that he would ever admit to it.

  He was more of a gentleman than most actual gentlemen she’d met.

  His brows came down farther as he stopped before her. “What’s with that grin?”

  “This grin?” She pointed to her lips.

  “That’s the one.” Poor fellow looked torn between amusement and disapproval. When the brisk wind picked up and whipped her cloak about her shoulders, he bent over her as if to shield her from it.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked. “And where is your chaperone?”

  “Chaperones again,” she murmured. “Really, Caleb. You’re supposed to be a pirate, not a society matron.”

  “A privateer,” he corrected.

  Her smile grew. “A privateer, then. All the same, I do wish you would stop worrying yourself. I hardly imagine my reputation is our biggest concern today, do you?” She moved past him to enter his home. “After all, it’s not as though Roger will tattle. Who would he even tell?”

  “Roger? You mean—” He growled as he stormed in behind her. “You cannot mean to join me for this...this...”

  She waited with wide eyes, curious as to how he would phrase it.

  He seemed just as stymied.

  “Interview,” he finished.

  She sank down before the fire. “What were you doing out there?”

  “Fixing the roof. What did it look like?”

  “Yes, but, shouldn’t that be Mr. Laslow’s concern? You are his tenant, after all. And you do not intend to stay here forever.”

  She was prying, and it was beneath her. But she couldn’t resist flicking her gaze in his direction to see his response. Surely he had some plans for the future. But he’d told her nothing of what his plans might be. “You must be anxious to find a home of your own.”

  He ignored her just as studiously as she’d ignored Hattie just moments before.

  “Don’t try to distract me, Abigail. You’re not coming with me, and that is that.”