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The Deal Breakers (Love Quiz Book 2) Page 3
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“You do?”
I held back a sigh. I’d been her best friend for how many years now? Of course I could see what was happening here. “You’re afraid.”
She blinked. “What?”
I tilted my chin down and leveled her with a long, hard stare. This conversation probably shouldn’t be taking place in the cafeteria, but it was long overdue. “You’re scared,” I said again. “And I get it.”
“You do?” she asked, her voice doubtful.
“Of course.” I shook my head in exasperation. “Look, I know you, Jessica. I know how hard it is for you to let people in.”
Her lips pursed, but I didn’t give her a chance to deny it. “I know everyone sees you as friendly and outgoing. You’re super popular, no one can deny that.”
She hitched her lips to the side in impatience but she didn’t interrupt.
“But you and I both know that there are very few people you’ve actually let in.” I reached out and took her hands in mine, gripping them tightly as she met my gaze evenly. “I don’t blame you. I mean, after losing your dad, and moving when you did. I know it’s just you and your mom and you’re sort of…closed off like that.”
She frowned outright now and tugged her hands away. “I am not closed off.”
I arched a brow. “How many other close friends do you have aside from me?”
She jerked back like I’d struck her and I cursed myself inwardly. I honestly wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings, but this was the truth and it was time we addressed it.
“I have friends on the basketball team,” she said, her tone defensive.
“Good friends?” I asked. “People you’d spend time with outside of practice or team bonding events?”
She blinked and pressed her lips together, and that right there was my answer. Her nostrils flared when she inhaled. “All right, Mr. Know It All, how many close friends do you have…other than me?”
I winced. “Okay, fair enough. But I date.”
She made a scoffing noise that had me straightening.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She leaned forward slightly and I caught a whiff of her familiar scent—berries and vanilla—a very specific scent that was a mix of her shampoo and soap. It was as familiar and made me feel more at home than I did in my own house.
“You call what you do dating?” she snapped. “You think hanging out with a girl a few times and making out with her at parties before dumping her two weeks later counts as letting people in?”
My eyes widened in surprise at her sharp tone. Jessica almost never got mad at me. Exasperated, yes. Irritated, always. But never mad. Well, not often. There was a time back in junior high when I’d crossed the line and tried to read her journal. That had ended badly. Fists were involved. But since then our spats had been more of the eye roll variety. Easily fixed with a sheepish grin and an apology.
I’d never once heard her talk so snidely about my romantic life and the flash of anger in her eyes left me speechless.
“Excuse me if I’m holding out for something more than two weeks of hooking up when I date,” she said.
A jolt of anger swept through me. “So what are you holding out for then?”
Her eyes narrowed on me and I watched her jaw work as she took a deep breath. “I want my first date to be with someone I care about. Is that so wrong?”
I looked away, hating the pain in her eyes. She wasn’t being honest. Not with herself and not with me. “No one says you have to sleep with the guy, Jessica. You don't even have to kiss him.” I forced myself to meet her gaze. “But I think it’s time you at least tried to put yourself out there.”
She stared at me for a long moment before turning her head with a shrug. “There’s no one I want to date.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, there has to be someone.”
There was. I knew there was, but I wanted her to admit it for once.
“I can't think of anyone.” She said it evenly, not even looking away from me. She was lying though, I knew she was. I’d seen the way she used to pine over her neighbor and she’d never looked at any other guy like that since. Don’t ask me why. I’d never liked the guy. He definitely wasn’t good enough for Jessica. But if that was who she wanted, then I’d rather she do something about it. I’d rather she put herself out there and find happiness than hide behind the safety of our friendship.
“You can’t, huh?” I arched a brow. “Well, I can. And he just so happens to be back in town.”
It took a second but then her jaw dropped and she was clearly horrified. I grinned. Ha! I knew it. She couldn’t pretend with me. I knew her way too well. “I’ll tell Edie to reach out to him. I bet she knows how to get in touch with Tommy Miller.”
Her expression was hilarious. Part embarrassment, part anger, part disbelief. If I wasn’t so annoyed with her I’d pull her in for a hug. She was flippin’ adorable when she got flustered like this.
But, seeing as she was still glaring at me in outright anger, I knew better than to try and touch her. I’d end up with a bloody nose. I knew this from experience.
“Why do you want me to do this so badly?” she snapped. “Are you so hard up for dates that you need Edie and Dane to set you up with people? I know you go through them like tissue paper, but you can’t have gone through all the eligible girls of your acquaintance already?”
I could admit that her harsh tone was rubbing me the wrong way. I was annoyed, but I also knew that she was just lashing out because she was scared.
But I wouldn’t be her friend if I didn’t push her outside her comfort zone. And I was her comfort zone. It was time to push my little bird out of the nest.
I leaned forward. “I’m doing this for you. You need to get out there, Jessica. I love our friendship but—”
“But?” She interrupted with that one word and I flinched. I hated the way she was looking at me. Like she was hurt.
Crap, I never wanted to hurt this girl. But this was for her own good. I had to remember that.
I swallowed thickly, forcing myself to plunge ahead. “I think you hide behind our friendship,” I said slowly. “You're not putting yourself out there and that's…not healthy.”
She looked so stricken, like I’d just slapped her instead of pointing out the truth. Guilt slammed into me at the realization that I was causing her real pain—the one person I never ever wanted to hurt.
“So you want me to date,” she said finally, her gaze shuttered, which I hated. She never did that to me. I’d watched her shut just about everyone else out over the years—but not me. Never me.
Still, she was waiting for an answer, and I forced myself to give it. I’d come this far, right? “Yeah, I want you to date.”
“Fine.” She threw one leg over the side of the bench and picked up her bag as she stood. “Let's do this. Tell Edie and Dane I'm in.”
Chapter 3
Jessica
My knee was bouncing like crazy as I met up with Edie in the gym after practice the next day. She sat on the bleacher beside me and gave me an assessing look. “Everything all right?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
Edie didn’t look convinced. With good reason. I was lying. I’d never been a great liar, but now was not the time to start cracking.
A full twenty-four hours had passed since Rex’s little intervention in the cafeteria. That’s what it had been, right? I mean, I’d seen enough intervention reality shows to know when I’ve just been confronted for “the talk.”
And I’ve been obsessing over it ever since.
Hurt didn’t cover what I was feeling. I was…unnerved. I was on edge. I was…
Oh heck, I didn’t know what I was. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. All I knew was, for the first time since the fifth grade, I was alone.
Oh, sure Rex texted me this morning, but I’d grabbed a ride with my mom. I hadn’t talked to him since I’d left the cafeteria and that made the last twenty-four hours feel like an eternity.
Rex and I didn’t fight.
We didn’t do ‘not talking.’ We just didn’t. But I wasn’t sure how to face him after that little speech he’d given me.
Heck, I couldn’t even face Edie, and she wasn’t even a friend. Not really.
“Jessica, if you don’t want to do this…” she started slowly, giving me every chance to intervene.
“I do,” I said when her silence trailed off.
She gave a sigh of relief. Edie and Dane were notorious go-getters. They were both winners. I mean, Rex and I loved to win at basketball but those two gave new meaning to Type A.
No, that wasn’t exactly true. Edie was Type A. Dane was just…well, he was just Dane. The kind of guy who seemed all laid back and cool but who also never seemed to sleep. He had a megawatt grin and a charming personality and I wouldn't be shocked if he were to become president one day. He was suave but cunning, if that made sense.
Edie, on the other hand—she was outright lethal. Kind, for sure. I’d never heard her be mean toward anyone. She was above catty clique politics and was nice to everyone. She was kind of Coleridge High’s patron saint of underdogs and outcasts.
But she was also intense. Focused, determined, and with more energy than a Chihuahua on speed. And right now, all that intensity was focused on me.
“You know, Jessica, we shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that,” she said in her best conciliatory tone. “Dane and I got a little carried away with this idea, and—”
“No, it’s okay,” I said.
It wasn’t, but whatever. Rex wanted me to move on?
Well, guess what? So did I.
Having him spell it out for me, and basically push me toward other guys…well, maybe that was the shove I’d needed.
“You okay?” Edie asked, her brow furrowing in concern. “You look a little…stressed.”
Stressed. Ha! Hardly. I was just facing the truth for the first time. I was finally taking a step toward freedom.
Rex didn’t want me hiding away with him anymore? Fine. I was tired of hiding out, too. I was ready to meet a guy who saw me as a female. One who wanted to do more than race me and give me a hard time.
“I’m fine,” I said to Edie.
She didn’t look entirely convinced but she dropped it. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
“Who you’re going to set me up with,” I said.
Edie’s lips twitched a bit like she was finding me amusing. Granted, I wasn’t my typical self right now, but I also wasn’t in the mood to be laughed at. I was a woman on a mission, dang it. “I thought Dane and I were supposed to meet with you and Rex tomorrow morning and—”
“I’d rather not wait,” I said.
Edie’s brows shot up and her gaze moved from my face to my bouncing knee and back again. “Are you sure everything’s okay with you? If you want to talk—”
“I don’t.” I shut her down so quickly that Rex’s words came back to me like a gong.
Man alive, maybe I did shut people out. Well…no more of that. I cleared my throat and tried again. “The thing is, Edie…” I stared at her as my mind went blank.
She stared back patiently, her eyes were kind when she arched her brows in a subtle prompt. “Yes?”
I tried to swallow but my throat was dry.
Dang it.
The only thing I hated more than fighting with Rex was knowing that he was right. Maybe he’d had a point about the whole not letting people in thing. And he’d definitely been right that I wasn’t putting myself out there with boys.
It was just everything else that he’d been wrong about.
Tommy Miller. Seriously? Rex seriously thought I was still hung up on my fifth-grade crush? A guy I’d barely spoken to in three years? Sure, Rex had been teasing me about it for years, but I’d thought that somewhere beneath that thick skull of his he’d known the truth. That my crush on Tommy had been dead in the water for years. That infantile infatuation hadn’t been able to hold a candle to the very real connection I had with Rex.
But no, Rex truly believed I was pining away for my neighbor.
Rex was an idiot.
But I supposed it was a good thing he was such a moron, because his rejection would have been a million times worse if he’d guessed the real reason I didn’t want to date.
Because I was holding out. And yeah, he’d been right when he’d teasingly guessed I’d been holding out for true love.
I’d been the fool who’d thought it could be found with my best friend.
Well, consider my eyes wide open now, thanks to Rex and his dumb speech. He wanted me to move on from him? Fine. That was exactly what I meant to do.
“Who is he?” I asked abruptly.
Edie blinked in surprise.
“Who are you setting me up with?”
“Well,” she said slowly. “We hadn’t decided yet, but Rex mentioned that you might have an interest in Tom Miller.”
The air seemed to rush out of my lungs against my will. “He did, did he?” That little rat just couldn’t wait to set me up with Tommy freakin’ Miller. He’d even gone behind my back and told Edie and Dane about him.
I clenched my fists against my jeans as hurt and betrayal made my hands shake.
Edie was eyeing me oddly. “My older sister was in the same class with him. They’re still friends.” She bit her lip and I couldn’t even begin to guess what she saw right now when she looked at me. “I could have her set it up…if you want.”
I’d never once heard Edie sound tentative, and the fact that she was treating me with kid gloves made me want to cry and scream.
I was so not going to be this girl—the one who was pitied because she’d gone and fallen for the wrong guy.
Dang it, I was attractive. I was smart. I knew how to flirt and be cute.
I didn’t have much practice, but that didn’t mean I didn’t know how. I was going to show Jonathan Rexman just how much of a girl I could be, and then I was going to fall in love with someone else.
Anybody else.
Maybe Rex had been right about everything because I was tired of waiting around for him to notice that I was a girl. I was tired of living on the outskirts while he went off and dated whoever snagged his eye.
I was moving on, dang it all. And apparently I was moving on with Tommy Miller.
“Do it,” I said.
Edie’s brows shot up. “You sure?”
I nodded quickly before I could doubt my decision. It was time. “I’m sure.”
“Okay, but…” She took a deep breath. “If you ever want to talk to someone…”
I smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
As I walked away, I felt a flicker of regret that I hadn’t taken her up on it right then and there. Sure, it might have been hard to open up to someone new, but the idea of finally unloading my secret on someone was almost tempting enough to overcome my hesitation.
Almost.
But when all was said and done, I couldn’t have anyone knowing my secret. Not Edie, even though she seemed trustworthy enough. Not my mom, because she’d feel compelled to share that gossip with her best friend, who also happened to be Rex’s mom.
Worst of all, I couldn’t share my secret with the one person who knew all of my secrets.
All except this one.
“I’ll text you with the details,” Edie called after me.
I paused as a flicker of nerves had me reconsidering my life choices. I half turned as the boys’ basketball team started to come out of the locker rooms to start their practice. “You seem awfully certain that he’s going to say yes,” I hedged.
Edie actually laughed as she eyed me from head to toe. “Sweetie, have you seen yourself lately?” She arched her brows in a smug look. “Trust me. Tom will definitely say yes.”
I forced a smile. “Great. Thanks.”
“Hey, hey!” Rex’s booming voice hit me like a sledgehammer from across the gym. He bounded toward us with a grin that said all was for
given and forgotten.
We didn’t do fighting or even “not talking” because I wasn’t good at holding a grudge and Rex excelled at smoothing things over. He didn’t know how to be awkward.
“There’s my favorite girl,” he said with that slow grin as he bounded toward us.
He was acting like nothing was wrong. Like it wasn’t weird that I’d ignored his texts last night or avoided driving to school with him today, or skipped lunch so I wouldn't have to face him.
For some reason that grin I loved so much…
Right now, it made me want to scream.
I couldn’t quite catch my breath as he bounded toward us, but this time that breathlessness had nothing to do with his sexy smile or the warmth in his eyes.
It had everything to do with anger. Hurt. Pain. Years’ worth of pent-up frustration. The fact that even now when we were sixteen—it never even occurred to him.
A pressure built up in my chest and rose into my throat. I swallowed convulsively. I was going to scream. I was going to scream or throw up. One or the other.
Oh crap.
But I didn’t do either. Instead I found myself perilously close to tears.
Nope. I shook my head. Tears wouldn’t do. I never cried, and I certainly wouldn’t start now. Not over my dumb friend.
But much as I told myself that, the tears started to sting anyway, and one look at Rex’s face said he knew it. His smile faded and his brows drew together in question as he slowed his gait to a walk. “Jessica?” he said. “What’s going on?”
I forced a bright smile I didn’t feel. “Nothing, just chatting with Edie here about my first assignment.”
He smirked. “Assignment?”
Anger was a relief after that terrifyingly close call with tears. He was smirking when he reached us and crossed his arms. “So you’re finally ready to admit that I was right, huh? It’s time to find you a boyfriend.”
I swallowed down a world of pain.
He didn’t know how much he was hurting me, this much I knew. But it hurt all the same.
“You made a valid point,” I said, my tone stilted and awkward, but either Rex didn’t notice or he was ignoring it.