The School of Charm: Books 1-5 Read online

  She would never have the strength to do what must be done.

  “Do you hear me?” he growled. “I must have a moment alone—”

  “There is nothing to say,” she interrupted. She could feel Emmaline’s gaping stare at his forward words. “We have nothing to say,” she repeated.

  “Maybe you don’t, but I do.” He moved even closer and her heart raced that much faster. Between her fear and her desire, her body seemed to thrum with energy, her limbs itching to move.

  To run.

  “I have given this much thought, Miss Adelaide.” He lowered his voice so no one else could hear, not even Emmaline. That low growl of his was meant for her, and her alone. Her traitorous body ached to lean forward to hear him better. She nearly cried from the stab of longing that had her imagining what it would feel like to rest against him now, to cry on his shoulder and allow him to ease her every concern.

  The temptation was very nearly too great to deny. “I’m sorry, but I must leave, Lord Tolston. We can talk another time.” If she wasn’t already gone…

  “I want you, Addie.”

  She blinked once. Twice. Surely her ears were playing tricks on her, his voice was too low that even she was mishearing. “Pardon me?”

  “I want you to be my wife.” He’d taken off his mask at some point, and there was nothing there to shield her from the intensity in his eyes, the stubborn set of his jaw, the determination that had his features set in stone.

  She was shaking her head in disbelief, certain she was hearing things, when he reached out and gripped her upper arm. “Come with me, please,” he said.

  It was the please that made her know he was serious. He was not the kind of man to beg or even ask permission. “W-why?” It was the best she could manage in her stunned daze.

  “Because this is a conversation best held in private,” he said. His eyes burned with need and desire and…could it be? Was that love she saw there?

  She sucked in air, feeling once more like it was doing nothing to help her. She felt dizzy with all the emotions swirling inside her. “Y-you want to marry me?” She shook her head. “But you barely know me—”

  “I know how I feel, and that is all I need to know.” He moved in so close she had to tilt her head back to see him clearly, the sight of him all encompassing, the sound of his voice turning everything else into a dull roar.

  “But I am not…that is, I couldn’t be—”

  “Why not?” he demanded.

  She stared up at him. He could not be serious. But then…to tease her like this would be cruel, and she couldn’t imagine a world in which the great and noble Earl of Tolston was cruel.

  “You do not know my family,” she started, her voice filled with disbelief as she tried to understand what he was saying.

  “I do not need to know them,” he said. “I know you.”

  Her mouth fell open in shock. She was dreaming. That had to be the case. There was nothing else for it. No gentleman—no earl—would offer to marry an unwed mother with no family, at best, and a scandalous one at worst.

  He had no idea what he’d be getting himself into.

  He might not even believe her if she told him.

  “But…Reggie,” she started.

  “Will live with us.” It was the decisiveness in his tone that finally made her come back to reality.

  He was serious.

  He would wed her and take in Reggie…why? Because he cared about her or out of some misguided notions of obligation and duty?

  She took a faltering step sideways, bumping into Emmaline in the process.

  “Addie, is he serious?” she whispered, her voice tinged with awe.

  Apparently one person in this crowd had heard his crazy proposition. And that’s what it was. Crazy. Ludicrous. There was no way he wouldn’t change his mind once he got over whatever this was between them.

  “I cannot,” she started, her voice little more than a breath.

  “Why not?” He was glaring at her like he had so many times before. So imperious, as though there was no doubt that he would get his way.

  He would marry her.

  The thought made her heart feel like a hummingbird in her chest. The very thought was so appealing—to be close to this man always. To share whispers and kisses and…secrets.

  Her secrets weighed on her chest now like an anchor. Where to begin? How to even start?

  Imagining his reaction—his disbelief—it was too much to bear. “I cannot talk about this now,” she said.

  His brows drew together in confusion. “Come away with me somewhere private.”

  “I just told you, I cannot.” But he didn’t seem to hear her.

  “If it is Reggie you are concerned about, I can allay your fears.”

  He continued talking, but she no longer heard him. All she could hear was the buzzing in her ears as her earlier fear returned with a vengeance. Panic and regret vied for authority over her as she realized she’d very nearly forgotten about Reggie in her stunned state.

  He was home, alone but for an elderly housekeeper and a butler who was partially deaf. He was vulnerable, and someone might very well know where he was.

  If they had tracked him to Mrs. Grishny’s, who was to say they hadn’t learned of his current hiding spot?

  “I have to go.” Her voice sounded too high, too airy.

  “Addie? What is wrong?” It wasn’t so much a question as a demand for answers.

  This…this was why she had to escape. He would never let her leave until he knew all and even then he would take matters into his own hands.

  She had to act now, and she had to do what was best for Reggie. What was best for them both.

  She had to run.

  “I—I—” She was tripping over her own feet trying to get around Emmaline, who was helping to keep her upright.

  Thank heavens for Emmaline.

  “I have to leave,” she said. “We will talk later.”

  They wouldn’t. She would be gone, but it seemed the best way to get away. She couldn’t deal with the emotions that came with talking alone with Tolston. Not now…maybe not ever.

  “Addie, wait—” he started, but for once in her life her small stature worked to her advantage as she slipped under an elbow and between two people standing close together. She wove and wound her way through the room, heedless of manners, her only focus on getting out and getting to Reggie before Duncan or Lord Everley beat her to it.

  Behind her she heard her name being called. Tolston. He wanted her, or so he said.

  But what if what he wanted was a damsel in distress? A lady to save. When he looked at her, he saw a woman who needed saving. She wanted more with him.

  She wanted everything, truth be told. She wanted the fairy tale ending she’d always dreamt for herself.

  But she’d grown up these last few months. She’d had to. Reggie wouldn’t survive on fairytales, but from cunning and strength.

  If there was any chance of a life for them, she had to leave behind childish fantasies and outlandish dreams.

  She had to leave behind the hope of finding love.

  Chapter Ten

  Alec watched her run, darting through the crowd like a murderer was on her tail.

  What…what on earth had just happened here?

  His head was still spinning in disbelief as he turned to her friend. “What just happened?”

  The tall lady’s apologetic grimace said that she’d heard what he’d said just now. Every word of it, no doubt.

  By her wide-eyed stare beneath that mask, he’d guess she was just as shocked by his behavior as he was. He cleared his throat. “My apologies for interrupting your conversation with Miss Adelaide, Miss…Haversham, is it?”

  She nodded. “Yes, my lord.”

  He cleared his throat as he looked around as if someone might come along and salvage this situation. How?

  He had no idea.

  Perhaps they could provide an introduction to the young lady present whom h
e’d just shocked into a stupor. That would be a start at restoring his dignity, at least.

  The lady in question cleared her throat as well, and he had to wonder if perhaps passersby thought they were in quarantine together. Two partygoers falling ill at once.

  He did feel ill, come to think of it. Deathly so. He stared at the space where Addie had been. He felt like he’d lost a rather vital organ. His heart, to be precise.

  “I believe we met at my parents’ hunting party in the country last year.”

  He whipped his head around to face this woman who’d witnessed his heartbreak, and what could also adequately be described as the most humiliating rejection of his life.

  But at least he’d made a proper introduction with this young lady…even if he couldn’t quite remember it. “Yes, of course,” he murmured. Polite civility was so ingrained in him that he found himself saying what he ought to say even when his mind was elsewhere.

  It was still trying to sort out what on earth had just happened and how he’d managed to so badly mangle what ought to have been a welcome proposal and a guaranteed acceptance.

  “I am an earl, am I not?” He wasn’t quite sure why he said the word aloud, but there it was. His confusion was beginning to form a voice of its own.

  “Indeed, my lord.”

  He could have sworn he caught a glimmer of amusement in her eyes, along with a hefty dose of pity.

  Wonderful. He was being pitied by a too-tall wallflower at his own ball.

  “I should, uh…” He looked around, searching for some duty that called. Everything in him wanted to chase after Addie, but a man had his pride.

  Granted, he’d done away with most of that pride when he’d proposed to her—here. In public.

  Where she’d then refused him.

  But being seen chasing her throughout his house like he was enacting some scene out of a melodrama—that was absolutely beneath him.

  And her.

  Which begged the question…what had come over her?

  For the first time since she’d run, the sharp pain of her rejection and the brutal blow to his ego faded long enough for his brain to function properly. “Why did she run, Miss Haversham?”

  He fixed his stare on Miss Haversham, and the poor lady visibly blanched, that much was apparent from the little he could see of her face. His tone was hardly cordial, his question impertinent, and yet…he found he did not care.

  Not in the least.

  In fact, the more the thought about the look in Addie’s eyes before she’d fled—

  He knew that look. He’d seen it before. In the moment, he’d confused it with shock over his admittedly abrupt and unexpected proposal. But now….

  Now, he wondered.

  Shifting closer to Emmaline, he dropped his voice. “Before I arrived, what were you two discussing?”

  “I, uh, I…” Now it was her turn to eye the door frantically, as though she too wished to follow in Addie’s footsteps.

  “Miss Haversham,” he started, his tone a warning.

  “It is not for me to say, my lord.”

  He had to admire the fact that her gaze once more met his, but her pert tone was forced. He could see the way she fidgeted with her fan, the way her breathing was shallow like she was fighting all-out panic.

  “I have no wish to harm her, Miss Haversham.” He kept his voice low and smooth. “I love her.”

  “Yes,” she said, as her gaze darted left and right, seeking help, no doubt. “I gathered as much when you proposed.”

  He felt a flicker of amusement beneath his fear and his pain. Perhaps that ill-conceived proposal had its merits after all. There could be no better way to prove his loyalty for Addie than to offer for her hand in marriage.

  In front of this lady.

  “How, may I ask, did you come to be so close with Miss Adelaide?” he asked.

  He never did have Gregory look into this lady and her connection to Addie, and now he regretted it mightily.

  “We are relatives…my lord.” She tacked on the title belatedly, her demeanor one of distraction as she looked around them. “I…I really cannot tell you more.” She bit her lip as she sneaked a look back at his face. “I am sorry. Truly. I know you care about her, but she believes she may be in danger, you see—”

  “Danger?” The word made his insides freeze. The wording of it was odd—she believes she may be in danger. “Why would she think that?”

  She pressed her lips together and gave a little shake of her head. No more, that shake said. She’d already said too much.

  “Is it her family?” he asked. “Is she worried about what they might do to her if they discover Reggie?”

  She pressed her lips together tighter but he caught the flicker of confusion. No. Not her family, then. He moved in closer and she held up her hands in surrender. “Please, Lord Tolston. Do not ask me any more questions. I have already said more than I ought.”

  “You can trust me, Miss Haversham.” You can trust me, even if Addie does not. He shook off the thought. He would deal with her later, once he found her and made sure she was safe.

  Safe and healthy and his, preferably until the end of time.

  That wasn’t asking too much, now was it?

  Miss Haversham seemed to be growing ever more determined to keep her silence by the moment. And when he thought about it, he could not fault her. If Addie were some distant relative who’d run from her home because she was with child, she would hardly spill her secret to just anyone, even if that anyone had offered marriage.

  “Miss Haversham, if it helps to ease your fears, I can tell you this—I know about Addie.”

  “Y-you do?”

  He let out an exasperated sigh. No, not entirely. He didn’t know her whole story, but he thought he knew enough. At the very least, he was certain he knew Addie’s biggest secret and the one which Miss Haversham would be utterly unwilling to share.

  He leaned in closer and dropped his voice another octave. “I know about Addie and her son.”

  Miss Haversham’s head jerked back in shock. “Her son?”

  They both looked around quickly, and Miss Haversham clapped a hand over her mouth in obvious horror at having shouted the word to the rooftops.

  She’d shouted it in disbelief. Because…because why?

  His brain still felt stilted and creaky after all the events of this evening. A little part of him was still replaying Addie’s rejection and watching her run away from him. But the part that was functioning properly—it started to race as pieces clicked into place. “Reggie is not her son,” he said.

  It was not a question.

  Miss Haversham blinked her wide eyes. It was neither confirmation nor protest, but he did not need her to confirm it. He knew it. The truth settled into his gut with a rattling clank. After all, Addie had never introduced Reggie as her son—he’d assumed. They all had.

  The more he thought about it, the more he realized just how little she had told him. How vague she’d been, and how very evasive.

  He shifted uncomfortably, tugging at his cravat. He’d been prepared to marry the lady, and he truly knew nothing about her.

  But no. That wasn’t entirely true, either. He might not know her history, but he knew her heart.

  He found himself glaring at a clearly terrified Miss Haversham. “I-I am truly sorry, my lord, but—”

  “Enough with the apologies,” he said with an imperious wave of his hand. “I need to know where she is. I need to know now.”

  She blinked rapidly, and for a moment he feared he’d gone too far. He’d meant to be stern with the girl, not make her cry.

  “My lord, I made a promise, and—”

  “And the fact that you mean to keep it makes you a valuable, loyal friend,” he said, gentling his tone. He took a step toward her, all too aware of the eyes that were on him. On them. A lifetime spent avoiding gossip and now he seemed to be vying for scandal like it was his duty to provide it.

  “But here is the thing, Miss
Haversham,” he continued quickly, his voice low but urgent. “You care about Addie, as do I. If you heard even a snippet of what just occurred here, you must know how very much I care about her.”

  She hesitated only briefly before giving a short nod. Hardly a rousing endorsement, but he would take it.

  “I care about her too much to see her hurt, as I imagine you do as well,” he continued. The very act of trying to remain calm and patient nearly destroyed his sanity. One thing he knew about Addie was that she was strong. Brave. If she could stand up to the likes of him, then she could stand up to anyone.

  So, whatever had her running out of here tonight like a ghost was on her tail, it had to be a real threat. Real and frightening.

  “Where was she running off to just now, Miss Haversham? I must know.”

  She bit her lip, confusion and wariness clear in her eyes. While he wanted to shake the girl, he couldn’t fault her for wanting to remain loyal.

  “If she is in harm’s way, I can help her,” he said. “But only if I know how to find her.”

  She gulped visibly, clearly alarmed at the thought of harm coming to her friend.

  “Where is she, Miss Haversham? Tell me, and I promise you I will save her and make this right.”

  As Miss Haversham wavered, he found himself struck by the fact that he was asking a stranger to have faith in him where Addie had not. He was asking this lady to have faith in him when the woman he meant to call wife hadn’t even trusted him with the truth.

  He shook off the thought and met Miss Haversham’s gaze evenly. “Please. I promise to help her.”

  She closed her eyes briefly. “I do not know for sure where she’s gone, but I can tell you this. It was not her own welfare that she fears for, but her brother’s.”

  Her brother.

  Reggie.

  Alec was already moving toward the exit as he said his thanks and made a rather rash promise to make sure that all would be well for Addie from this moment forward.