The School of Charm: Books 1-5 Page 10

  He gaped at her. “Is it not obvious?”

  She lifted one shoulder. “I never took you to be the kind of man who cared what others thought.”

  He glared at her mischievous little smile. “And I never took you to be a romantic.”

  She scoffed and they shared a small smile of understanding. This was one thing they’d always had in common.

  “Not for myself, perhaps,” she said slowly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe it exists for others.” At his blank stare, she continued on with a defensive tone. “Tell me you weren’t just a little swayed watching Amelia and Royce fall head over heels for one another. They proved to me, at least, that love does exist…for some people.”

  “Not me.” He said it more out of habit than anything else, but it was the truth, was it not? Addie had said it herself. Love was a luxury few could afford.

  Was that what this was? A luxury? Were he to cave to his wants and desires for this wholly unsuitable woman would he be giving in to selfishness or doing right by himself and, more importantly, by her?

  He could end her suffering easily. He might not know her secrets but with the power of his title and the fortune at his disposable, surely her fears could be conquered. There was nothing he would not do to ensure her safety, and the safety of her child.

  Was it selfish to want love in addition to everything he’d been given? Perhaps. Maybe it was too much to ask of fate that he have love as well as wealth and power and a good name.

  Was that it, then? Was the price of his good fortune a life without true love?

  He looked out over the sea of noisy people below. What a depressing thought. To go his whole life without genuine affection and a true connection…for what?

  As an earl he had more money than he could count, more power than all but a handful, and more respect than any. No scandal would harm his banknotes, and no amount of notoriety would steal the power of his title.

  It was his pride that would take a licking.

  But what had all that pride gotten him?

  Certainly not warmth or happiness…or love.

  He drew in a deep breath and clenched his hands into tight fists. The need to see her right this instant, to tell her how much that kiss had meant to him—it made him want to crawl out of his skin. At the very least, he wanted to leap over this balcony to avoid the mass of people who were crowding the staircase and impeding his path.

  These people—he watched them now with a new vision. One of a man in love, he supposed. They might judge her, but he knew her worth, even if he never knew her history. And if they judged him a cuckold?

  Well, again…he knew better.

  So what did he have to risk if he asked her to be his? Only his pride.

  But if he didn’t pursue her—if he let her slip out of his life the same way she’d come in, he’d lose his heart. Of that he was certain.

  “Pardon me, Miss Grayson, I need to attend to some business.”

  “Give Miss Adelaide my best,” she called after him.

  “Adelaide.” A male voice he did not recognize repeated the name as though it meant something. “Did you say Miss Adelaide?”

  But when Alec turned to see who it was he found the crowd had shifted behind him and he found himself facing a crowd of masked gentlemen and ladies who were carrying on with chatter and laughter. He shoved aside the niggling doubt that had stolen over him and headed once more for the staircase.

  For once in his life, he was going to act selfishly—impulsively.

  For once in his life, he was going to follow his heart.

  He could only hope he wasn’t too late in telling Addie how he felt, and that he could convince her he was worth taking a chance on. That he was truly worthy of her trust and her faith.

  They’d deal with whatever ramifications came together. They’d forget her past and his. They’d build a future of their own—one that included the two of them and Reggie.

  Was it unconventional? Perhaps. Would he have to reckon with her family when they discovered where she’d run off to and why? Undoubtedly.

  A new sense of purpose had him striding down the stairs, slipping past groups of partygoers with determined focus.

  And if he lost the respect of the ton? So be it. It was better than losing his self-respect, and that was what was at stake if he gave up on the lady who’d brought his heart to life and breathed new meaning into his existence.

  He reached the ground floor, heedless of the calls for his attention or the looks cast his way.

  He was on a mission to find Addie. Once again he was chasing after her…but this time there was one major difference.

  This had nothing to do with saving her and everything to do with saving himself.

  Chapter Nine

  All she had to do was find Emmaline, then she could leave.

  The reassurance did little to settle her nerves. Being here in his house again—it was unnerving. She’d only stayed here a matter of weeks, and while under the guise of a maid, at that.

  And yet it still felt like her home, in an odd sort of way. Here she’d been safe, at least for a little while. The grand townhouse felt loaded with memories—too many to fit even into this large home with its high ceilings and wide doorways.

  She slipped through one of those doorways now, eager to find a place less crowded where she could peruse the guests and hopefully seek out her cousin.

  Emmaline had to be here somewhere. Addie had heard the Haversham name announced not long after her own arrival. She and Emmaline had foolishly not thought to name a meeting spot, and now she was stuck wandering through the party, trying to avoid running into anyone who might recognize her—although that list was admittedly small—and trying her best to avoid Tolston.

  That was easy enough to do. Last she’d seen him, he’d been looking down over the crowd like a king on his balcony. That dark, brooding gaze had swept over the crowd and then over her like he could see all of her. Everything the mask hid, right down to the most deeply buried hope and wish.

  Stuff and nonsense.

  He could not see her heart pounding any more than he could have seen the blush on her cheeks at the mere sight of him. Thank heavens for her mask. With it on she felt almost safe.

  Emmaline had assured her that Duncan was not attending tonight, though he was in town.

  All was safe.

  She hoped.

  Though the fact that Duncan was anywhere in this city had her more on edge than ever. The sooner she could get the money and get far away, the better.

  At last! A tall blonde woman appeared at the other end of the room, hovering in the doorway as she glanced this way and that.

  Addie had no doubt it was Emmaline. Not many women were so tall that they could be seen over the crush even from the other side of the room.

  Addie waved a hand, and her cousin started forward toward her before she was stopped by a gentleman who was speaking to her. Addie hovered where she was, afraid of avoiding attention by standing there alone and afraid talk to her cousin lest this gentleman be someone she knew.

  She inched forward, slowly but surely making her way over. When she was directly behind the man still talking to her cousin, she stopped short. She could not make out the words but…that voice.

  She’d recognize it anywhere. Low, cold, and so terrifying it made her heart race. Accidents happen all the time to little children. This was Duncan’s friend. The visitor she’d never seen but who had casually suggested murdering her brother.

  She stumbled back a step, bumping into a reveler who laughed heartily at something his friend was saying.

  All Addie could hear was her own breathing, harsh and far too loud.

  What was he doing here?

  Who was he?

  A part of her wished to move forward and hear what he was saying as another part of her fought the urge to flee. She ended up standing still, frozen in place. Nothing would bring more attention to her than sprinting madly through a crowd.

 
; She watched Emmaline, cursing the elaborate mask that hid her cousin’s face. She could not even tell if her cousin was speaking or listening…

  Finally, just when she thought she might scream, the tall gentleman with the raven black hair walked away, back out the way he’d come. She lost sight of him when he turned the corner, but she still waited, frozen in fear that he might turn back around and see her.

  You’re wearing a mask, she reminded herself, hoping that might ease her fears and stop her heart from racing away from her. Even if he saw you, he would not recognize you.

  She wasn’t even certain he knew what she looked like. She hadn’t caught sight of him at her family home when Duncan had hosted his friends, but that did not mean he had not spotted her.

  Emmaline was moving toward her and jumped when Addie reached out and snagged her arm. “What did he want?”

  “Adelaide!” Emmaline exclaimed.

  Addie shushed her and pulled her toward the wall where they might find a modicum of privacy. “Please, Emmaline,” she said. “What did that man say to you?”

  Emmaline sighed. “After all this time, and with all you’ve been through…you want to talk about some stranger?” She clutched her hands, her voice urgent. “Tell me where you’ve been, how you are. How on earth did you end up at Lady Charmian’s school?”

  “Emmaline,” she said, her impatience growing. “Please. I know you have questions, but that man, he is a friend of Duncan’s.”

  Emmaline rolled her eyes. “Of course he is, dear. You must recall how popular Duncan is. Everyone loves him.”

  Adelaide gaped at her cousin. True, she had not told her the details, but surely her cousin had not fallen for his charms, knowing as she did that he’d all but driven Addie from her home.

  Emmaline eyed her now, as if trying to gauge her sanity—or perhaps that was Addie’s paranoia kicking in. “Duncan arrived at our house last night unexpected. He came to pay his respects to Father.”

  She’d assumed as much, but hearing it still made her stomach twist in fear. “He is not here tonight, though—”

  “No,” Emmaline said quickly. “Duncan said he had other plans when my mother asked him to join us this evening. But Addie…” Emmaline’s eyes were soft with kindness. The two ladies hadn’t spent much time together over the years, but Addie remembered their time together as children fondly. Right now, at least she knew she had one true friend in this world.

  “What is it?”

  Emmaline drew in a deep breath. “Last night…he told my parents that you ran away.”

  Adelaide held her breath as she waited for more, dread filling her stomach and making the contents there churn with nausea. “Did he say why?” she asked in a small voice.

  Emmaline fidgeted uncomfortably. “He…he said you were having episodes.”

  “Episodes?” Her voice held all the disbelief she felt and for a moment she forgot to keep her voice down.

  Emmaline bit her lip, looking pained at what she was about to say. “He made it sound as though…as though you had lost your wits,” she said on a rush of air. “He said you were overcome with grief and you’d gotten ridiculous ideas in your head and—”

  Emmaline cut herself off as Addie gasped in dismay. “He didn’t.”

  “I’m afraid he did.”

  “Did they…did your parents…did they believe him?”

  Emmaline’s silence was answer enough. A jolt of pain shot through her, a new form of loneliness she never knew existed until now. “Do you believe him?” she whispered.

  Emmaline still looked pained as she struggled for an answer. “No, of course not,” she said after the briefest hesitation. It might have been brief, but it had been telling.

  “Emmaline, please, you must believe me.”

  “I do,” she said, more convincingly this time. “It’s just that…I wonder if perhaps you misunderstood. Or perhaps he was joking—”

  “About murdering my brother?” she snapped.

  Emmaline let out a sigh. “No, you’re right, of course. I suppose I have a hard time believing anyone could be so cruel.”

  Addie sighed as well. She could hardly fault her sweet cousin for not wishing to believe the worst in someone—especially someone they both called family.

  “He’s here to find you…and Reggie,” she said.

  Addie’s heart stopped at the mention of her brother. “He knows we’re here?”

  Emmaline shrugged. “Perhaps he just assumed you would come here as we’re your only living family.”

  That sense of loneliness? It was painful right now. So few people to rely on in this world and it seemed most of them believed her to be crazed with grief.

  “H-he—” Emmaline stopped short.

  “He what?”

  “He insinuated that he feared for Reggie’s safety. That some harm may have come to him for you to go…”

  “Insane?” she offered, her voice rising with incredulity. She was having a hard time fully comprehending what her cousin was saying as a sort of numbness stole over her. “I need to leave.”

  Reggie was back at the school with only the housekeeper and an old butler as a guardian. What sort of sister was she that she’d left him on his own?

  She’d grown too comfortable here in London, she’d deluded herself into thinking she and Reggie were safe with Lord Tolston and Miss Grayson looking after them.

  She’d been wrong.

  So very wrong.

  Her breath started coming too quickly as her pulse raced erratically.

  “Emmaline, I must go. Do you have the money?”

  “Yes, of course, it’s right here.” She reached into her reticule and then thought better of it. “Here, take it all.”

  Clutching the bag to her chest, ready to flee when the memory of that cold black-haired gentleman gave her pause. “That man talking to you just now…”

  “Lord Everley?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

  Lord Everley. So, now she had a name with the voice. “Yes,” she said. “What was he talking to you about?”

  “Duncan,” she said easily. “He was looking for him, he said they had much to discuss.”

  “Did he mention me?” she asked warily.

  Emmaline’s eyes filled with confusion. “No,” she said slowly. “He just asked me to give Duncan a message in case I saw him before he did.”

  “What was the message?”

  Emmaline frowned as if still confused by it all. “Something about how he’d found the gift he’d been looking for on Devereaux Row but they’d shipped it to the wrong address…?” Her voice trailed off in a question.

  The blood drained from Addie’s face, her limbs turning to ice as she froze in place. Devereaux Row.

  “Maybe I got that wrong, I was so distracted trying to find you I was not terribly attentive, I’m afraid.” Her cousin frowned at her. “Are you all right?” When Addie didn’t immediately answer, she shifted closer. “Does that mean anything to you?”

  Devereaux Row. That was the street where Mrs. Grishny lived. It was where Reggie had been staying right up until Tolston had forced her into attending Miss Grayson’s school.

  What were the odds that the cruel lord—Lord Everley—was referring to something else?

  Slim. Very slim. Oxygen seemed to be in short supply as she took in shallow gulps of air. Her head was spinning, her hands were clammy, and she could have sworn she heard someone calling her name.

  “Miss Adelaide!” A voice she knew as well as her own had her stiffening in fear. “Miss Addie Adelaide.” There was no mistaking that lazy drawl as his voice cut through the crowd around her.

  She widened her eyes as panic sliced through her. She had to run. There was no way she could face Tolston right now, not when she was so vulnerable and terrified. If she spoke to him, he would know something was wrong.

  He would know she was about to run.

  She couldn’t let him stop her. Not this time. She had too much at stake. Reggie’s life
depended on her being strong, even if that meant hurting the man she loved.

  She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before bracing herself for what was to come. She opened her eyes to find Emmaline watching her with concern.

  “Are you all right?” Emmaline asked, her voice breathless as she looked from Emmaline to Tolston and back again. “Is Lord Tolston coming for you?”

  Before she could answer or even begin to explain, he was upon them. “Addie, at last I’ve found you.”

  It might have sounded sweet and romantic if his tone wasn’t so curt. He sounded irritated and annoyed—a fact which might have amused her at any other time. As it was, she couldn’t quite bring herself to meet his gaze, which was focused solely on her.

  He didn’t seem to notice Emmaline or any of the others who gathered around, stealing glances to see what had their famed host moving through the crowd with such urgency.

  Addie tried to shrink in on herself as she felt their stares, fidgeting with her mask to better cover her features.

  “You came.” Tolston growled this like it was an accusation.

  “You invited me,” she shot back.

  He let out an exhale of exasperation and ran a hand through his hair. “I did not mean to—oh blast, let me start over.”

  She started to back away. He was too close, his proximity was a danger in and of itself. She had to get out of here, and Tolston was too much of a temptation. His heat, his strength, his affection. The way he was looking at her like she was the only person in this room.

  He would help her. She knew that. If she told him she and Reggie were in danger, he would help her.

  But at what cost?

  He would demand everything from her, and she could not give him that. She would need to tell every secret, reveal every lie.

  She had no time for that.

  And what if he did not believe her? What if she wasted her breath and found out that he too was a friend of Duncan’s? What if he believed Duncan’s lies over her admittedly ludicrous story?

  She couldn’t risk it.

  She steeled her senses as he moved closer. “We must talk, Addie.”

  Shaking her head quickly, she moved closer to Emmaline, who’d never budged despite Tolston’s rude behavior. Thank heavens for her kind, supportive cousin. She’d never survive a moment alone with Tolston, not when the memory of their kiss was wreaking havoc with her heart just because she could smell his scent. If he were to touch her, speak tenderly to her…